Tonights Fear: Aging

meThe me over there is from my reading at Horrorfind in 2011.  A lot has happened in my life over the past three years and I wouldn’t change any of it.  I’ve traveled down a path I never thought I’d be on and I never take any of it for granted.  However, the me three years ago reading in the picture was not quite 36 yet and the prospect of 40 still seemed so far away.

Well, I turn 39 today and I stand at the edge of my personal Age Abyss.  There have been times in the past few years when I know that time is ticking away and each day is one less I have.  You could say I’ve been overly concerned with the prospect of turning 40 and you’d be right.  I have one year left until I hit that age-that-dare-not-speak-its-name and I feel uneasy.

What is the thing about aging that makes us fearful?  I think because each birthday brings us one step closer to the end.  Thinking back on my life so far, it’s hard to believe half of it is gone.  More than half?  I hope not, but one never knows when the final bell will ring.  I do dwell on things too much some times, but this is one subject I find it hard to ignore.  Deep down, I think there is a vanity where we want to live forever.  We don’t know what lies beyond the realms of this life.  Are we sentenced to the dark nothing?  Do we come back and live through the whole cycle again? Is the afterlife just how religions describe it?  We don’t know and I know that is where my fear of it comes in.


I have about half a lifetime left, so I won’t keep you here any more.  Go forth and have fun!  Don’t let the age thing get you down!  Enjoy your family and everything in your life you hold dear!  I know I am…

Goodnight and enjoy life my friends,



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