Ok, let’s go. See that guy next to these words? That’s me. Well, 35 pounds heavier, but I assure you it is me. See that one book in front of him? Now it would be 13 anthologies with him. And now the solo stuff is coming. The pic is from Horrorfind Weekend in 2011 where I read and sat at a table to sign something if something was brought to me (I did sign some programs in the elevator. I was flattered, but I was also drunk and still drinking at the moment. I even had two beers in my hands). I hope everything keeps moving in the current direction and I can have some fun doing what I love to do…tell my tales with droplets of blood.
When I turned in the synopsis for In Memoriam, I was scared for my life. It’s one thing sending a short story out, but to send something bigger freaked me out. What was once a short story idea written out on a few sheets of notebook paper turned into a 18.000 word work that I was proud of. Within a week or so, I was contacted back to send the first three chapters.
That was even more gut wrenching.
Then I got the word they wanted to read the rest. And the rest was sent. Once Armand Rosamilia and myself talked about it, we agreed it needed some work. First, I was shocked it got to that point. Second, I was even more shocked we were going to go forth with it. We discussed the piece and decided the bones were there, but I had some work to do. I began the process of going through and looking at it with a different set of eyes. These eyes were looking at how to drive it more, to build it up more, and kick you in the heart more. I started the rewrites a few months ago.
Then something happened to me.
I have a tendency to struggle with depression from time to time and I got hit hard this summer. I’d been working tons of hours, struggling to stay up on things at home, and get my writing done. Something had to give and it was me. For a few weeks I would power up the laptop and then stare at the keyboard. The muse was gone. I’m still not sure where it went, but she left me and I had nothing. I’ve heard the tales of writer’s block, but I never knew how it could strike without warning and leave you a hollow shell grasping at anything to get you going again.
I’m still not sure what happened.
The muse came running home and slammed into my brain like a freight train. I was quickly able to finish the rewrites, finish a story I’d been working on with another author I’d lost my way on, and I took pictures-made notes-started writing my second novella. It’s been a productive week.
So, now we will begin the task of going through the manuscript for In Memoriam again with a fine tooth comb. I’m hoping to get it all ready before the book signing I’m planning for my birthday weekend. It looks like October 20th, 2012 at Comics Unlimited in Evansville Indiana will be the coming out party.
The experience has been a good one and I’ve learned a lot about the craft, about me, and about the voice I’m settling into. I hope when the work starts coming out, you will enjoy it too.
Welcome to the ride my friends…come inside…come inside…